Things that Worry Me about Taking my Children to Sweden

A Top Ten List

10: It's very rude to leave your shoes on in a Swedish home.  Even some public places provide disposable shoe covers or socks to wear.  One of Adrienne's first words was "shoe", closely followed by "boot".  She gets her footwear obsession from her big sister.  Prying shoes off these mini Carrie Bradshaws at every threshold is going to be a chore.

 

9: Speaking of feet, these really scare me. Roanin has not changed shoe size in about 2 years. Everything is much more expensive in Sweden. If he decides to "catch up" in Sweden, it could cost us an arm and a leg to keep these feet shod.

8: I often express to the kiddos that a debate is closed (and I win) with the phrase "The end." I will NOT be able to do this in Swedish and feel good about myself as a mother. Here is a currently relevant example of how this would go: "Cora, those shorts are too short. You may NOT wear those shorts out of the house without leggings under them or a skirt over them. Slut." Yup. The end = Slut (sloot). Tack that on to the end of your favorite Disney Princess Movie.

7: These 2 morning glories are up with the sun everyday. The sun will come up at roughly 3 AM when we arrive in July. Holy blackout curtains, Batman!

                                            

6: Translating the number 6 back into English.  Roanin was announcing to his sisters this morning "I'm sex years old!"  Nope, that's not a typo.

5: Swedish television isn't censored.  No bleeping.  No blurry pixels.  No nothing.
    a) The F-bomb in Swedish translates directly to the F-bomb in English.  You're welcome, Roanin's next American classroom teacher.

4: Swedes expect promptness.  I consider myself fairly on time...for a mother...of 3 small children.  We'll see how that translates.  How do you say "grace period" in Swedish?

3: Small children = wolf bait.

2: Public restrooms are coin operated.  I don't mind paying the 5 krona (about 75 cents), but the sheer weight of the amount of exact coinage I'll need to carry with me for a day on the town with 3 small bladders could be a serious issue.

1: Swedes eat everything with silverware.  My kids...not so much.

Things that excite me about taking my children to Sweden:

1: Everything else.