Swedish Church in Politics

54.  Make some attempt to sort out Swedish politics.  This will be especially advantageous to us, since we'll be living in Sweden during their national elections in September.

55. Wrap your head around the party names:

     Social Democrats and Swedish Democrats: One or both of these is best compared to the US Republicans.  (Disclaimer: Please don't read this blog for accurate political information.  Only for your own personal entertainment, as at least one US "news" channel should be consumed.). I'll let you know if I figure out anything more helpful than that surely slanderous statement.

     Moderates: The party of the current Prime Minister.  They seem to be analogous to the US Democratic Party, maybe even a bit leftier.  Yup, I'm a pro at politics.  Coining words and all.  Someone get me a dry erase board.

     Party of the Swedes: This one I'm much more clear on, as they're commonly referred to as Neo-Nazis.  I think that gives you a pretty clear picture of their platforms.

56. Admire the Swedish Church's involvement in the political process.  During today's political speeches by the Party of the Swedes, all 92 churches on the island of Gotland plan to ring their bells in an attempt to drown out the speeches and to warn of danger to society.  The last time the bells were all rung simultaneously was during World War II.  The anti-Neo Nazi protesters reportedly added to the cacophony with loud booing and jangling keys.  What a beautiful spin on "Make a joyful noise."

Update:  My guess about the Social Democrats and Swedish Democrats was way off.  (You did read my disclaimer, right?)  They are evidently on 2 different sides of the spectrum, and my above statement would, in fact, be considered by both of them.  Silly me for thinking that 2 parties with such similar names would be...similar.  I would dig deeper and explain the whole thing for you, but there's dinner to cook, and plenty of other (qualified) Swedish websites you could dig into yourself...so I won't. 

I have a few Swedish readers (Hej, Henrick!), who are surely reading my blog as comedy.  Please (please, please) correct any and all of my faux pas, both here and in person.  Tack!

It's Just Us...And the Poehlers

51.  Discover that you are not, in fact, the only ones moving to Sweden.  There's also Amy Poehler and her brother filming a sitcom.  In Sweden.  About an American.  Moving to Sweden.

52.  Consider that this means one of two things:
     A)  You are somehow on the cutting edge of what Hollywood considers an interesting thing to do.

OR

 

     B)  You are planning to do something so outrageously hair brained that Hollywood considers it rich enough in comedic material potential to create a TV series on the subject matter that will be your life. 

 

     Yea, I'm going with B, too.

 

53.  Plan the watch party. 

 

Who's coming over July 10th at 9pm?  We'll provide the pickled herring.

Food for Thought

Remember point #5a on my list of things that worry me about taking my children to Sweden?  I submit into evidence:

Article A - Gothenburg's newest sandwich shop not only has F*** in it's name, but uses young children in it's advertisements.

Article B - The local preschool teachers deemed the commercial "silly".

At least the shop owner attempts to redeem himself by appropriately slamming McDonalds in conclusion.  When it comes to food, which is more offensive: cussing children or McD's poison?  I think I'll skip the debate and try Gothenburg's famous seafood instead.

I haven't previewed the commercial, but I assume it's NSFW, or preschoolers.

Nevermind.  I previewed it on mute (little ears abound) and it's really NSFW or preschoolers.  So I'm not going to link it here.  I think it's a bit beyond "silly".

 Personally, I'm trying to keep McD's poison AND this shop's name out of my childrens' mouths.

Scott's Honey Do List

42: Send your husband off to Sweden on a preliminary preparation mission.  I'm not sure if he's getting our family ready for Sweden, or Sweden ready for our family.  Either way he has quite the Honey Do List.

43: Deal with your jealousy issues as you realize he'll be in Sweden for Midsommar and you'll be...not in Sweden.

44: Try to track him as he hops around the world, including an unexpected stop in Frankfurt.

45: Get a good morning giggle out of his picture from the Brussels airport.  Yes, that is, in fact, a graphic of a little boy peeing directly at the Coke bottle they're trying to convince you to buy.  Thirsty yet?

46: Daydream about all the wonderfully quirky cultural differences you'll have to share on your blog about living in Sweden...as soon as you get to Sweden.

47: Use said blog to publicly post your dear, sweet, Swedish errand running husband's Honey Do List:

Scott's Honey Do List:

I. Enroll Roanin in Killa School (He'll either become fluent in Swedish or gangsta rap.)

II.  Ask tons of questions about preparing a child for school in Sweden.
     A. Do we buy school supplies, or are they provided?
     B. Is there a dress code/uniform?
     C. How does he get to school?  School bus?  Public bus?  Bicycle?  Bipedalism?  Mom taxi?
     D. Do I pack him a lunch, or send money, or is it provided?

III.  Enroll the girls and me in open preschool.

IV.  Check out the house we'll be renting.
     A. Take many pictures.
     B. Take some more.
     C. Inventory the kitchen.
     D. Inventory household appliances, taking special note of washer, dryer, and dishwasher, if they exist.
     E. If possible, stock kitchen with non perishable food items.
    
V.  Get transportation schedules for the area, both bus and train.

VI.  Beg, borrow, or steal plan to buy items like a stroller, bikes, carseats, a few toys and books.

VII.  Ask if the toothfairy comes to Sweden.

VIII. Sing a round of the frog song for me.

48: Receive word that your husband has completed his tour of Europe and landed safely in Sweden...without his luggage.

49: Pray that this does NOT happen next month.  Have daymares about arriving in Sweden without the massive amount of luggage you're planning to live out of for 3-6 months.

50: Research luggage insurance.

What am I forgetting?  What else should Scott be doing ahead of time while he's in Sweden.  Aside from working.  I guess he should do some of that, too.